Adventures in Body Piercing

So the owner/boss...

Tue, 20 Sep 2011 16:11:32 -0400

of Starz calls me a couple of minutes ago, while I’m talking to clients, irate.

Why, you ask? Because I was doing what I just mentioned… talking to clients. He is apparently of the opinion that (and this is a direct quote) “the more you talk, the less they want to get it.”

I’m sorry, but NO. If he wants another piercer who doesn’t know shit about shit, I can find him one. This chick knows her business, sorry.

I’m going to explain to my clients what’s up, how to take care of their piercings, and what they should do.

I AM NOT A BUTCHER, SORRY.

So, a couple new shops.

Fri, 16 Sep 2011 15:29:19 -0400

The first is “The Crib” where I feel damn comfy. It’s slow, but the people are awesome and it’s a clean, sterile, all-around excellent space.

The players there:

Enigma. The Shop manager/shop girl. She’s pretty awesome, but if she’s having a bad day, watch out.

Dude. An artist who’s been everywhere, even overseas. Kind of a poseur-y douche, but a good artist, and he’s okay enough.

The Saint. Good artist, been published even. I can already tell he’s kind of a rockstar, but whatever.

The Apprentice. Nuff said, though he’s in it for all the wrong reasons.

Bossman One. Chill dude, real accommodating, bends over backwards to make sure everyone’s happy.

Bossman Two. Real quiet dude, smart, too.

Cheese. Friendly, kind of an all-around higher up, a bit flaky though.

Big Boss. Chill dude, don’t cross him, though, he means business.

Now then, on to shop two.

This is the moneymaker, but it’s a damn crap establishment. We’ll call it Starz.

The “piercer”. She’s been “piercing” 20 years, she says, and can talk the talk, but doesn’t walk the walk - she uses guns for piercing, and I’ve had a couple of complaints already. Doesn’t do half the things that are fairly common now (microdermals) and her “safe standards and practices” leave a lot to be desired.

Grouch. He’s so not. He’s friendly, loves his job.

Savage. Cool dude, fancies himself a ladies man, looks like.

Randall. Chill dude, easygoing, a bit lazy(but then aren’t all artists? myself included.)

Pieces. This is the guy I’ve been warned about. Piercer calls him a “snake”. He seems lazy(lazier than usual), kind of dumb, and douchey.

So Starz is located in neighborhood that used to be the ghetto shopping central(and now is for people spending on money on trying to look ghetto)… and as such, I get a lot of little baby butch lesbians wanting tattoos and ghetto women wanting piercings that are impractical or tacky.

The Crib is also in a ghetto shopping district, but the clientele that we get there is a bit more high-end. Tho, I’ll say, Enigma probably screens the bad apples out, she’s good like that.

Sketchy...

Sat, 26 Feb 2011 23:09:11 -0500

So some guy came in with two chicks, very angry-seeming, and demanded to speak to the tattoo artist.

He then looks at the girl he’s with and barks an order at her to draw the tattoo she wants. She ignores him, looking at magazines, then comes over to the Perfectionist, and says, “You won’t tattoo a pregnant woman, right?”

Of course he says no, and they leave… so odd.

Wooooooooooooow

Fri, 18 Feb 2011 20:22:53 -0500

The Perfectionist is ridiculous passionate about games… he’s showing the counter person about this weird phone game..

I don’t even know.

So to recap the cast of characters...

Tue, 15 Feb 2011 00:27:09 -0500

We have Spade, The Perfectionist, Salty, Greenleaf…

Also:

Baby Huey. 19, amazing artist.

and Dio - my apprentice.(who’ll hate me for naming him that)

There’s also Loudmouth and Jersey. Spade’s friends/counter girls. (No, Jersey isn’t from there.)

Timepiece is gone, but Mik is around, she’s Perfectionist’s apprentice.

Welcome back, readers.

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 23:41:10 -0500

It’s been pretty humor-free in this shop thus far, but now… it begins. Prepare yourselves for more installments in the Adventures in Body Piercing Blog.

We have a couple new characters, allow me to introduce them. There’s Salty, he’s a traditional artist, and Greenleaf - he’s a rastamon… and a douchebag.

So to recap and recount a hilarious moment in Moonlit Studios Nights…

As I’m cleaning up and prepping to leave one night, a random Marine walks in. In dress uniform. My apprentice asks if he can help him, Marine says “no” with a kanye shrug, and leans against the counter, playing with his phone.

I come up front. “Can I help you?”

M: “No.” *plays with phone*

F: “We’re closed, sir, we’re cleaning up and locking up, I need to ask you to leave.”

M: “Uh huh.” *continues to play with his phone for a few more minutes, then casually lifts off the counter and heads for the door*

F: *I follow him to smoke a cigarette and he stands barely outside the door for quite a few minutes before wandering off*

So yes. Adventures.

"So that guy who was made of alcohol right there…"

Sat, 15 Jan 2011 21:08:37 -0500

“So that guy who was made of alcohol right there…”

- The Perfectionist, about a random dude who walked in.

(So I'm guesting in another shop)no offense...

Sat, 15 Jan 2011 14:38:25 -0500

But a tattoo machine should make noise. Your fancy swiss soundless machine freaks me out.

Wow. Just... wow.

Fri, 14 Jan 2011 23:31:54 -0500

So there’s a girl standing just outside whose tampon string is visible. Grossssssssssss.

Wow, no kidding.

Fri, 14 Jan 2011 19:38:39 -0500

This guy John Forte is here.

So apparently a big-named Hip-hop artist is getting tattooed by Spade tonight.

Fri, 14 Jan 2011 19:37:05 -0500

So?

So.

Sat, 08 Jan 2011 20:46:40 -0500

Names have been changed to protect me.

Spade. Manager, tattoo artist. Rad chick, a little off.

Timepiece. Apprentice.

The perfectionist. Tattoo artist, disgruntled over working in a street shop, apparently has a fine arts degree.

More as I get to know them.

Good shop, but...

Sat, 08 Jan 2011 17:42:12 -0500

some crazy people in here. Like, f’real.

Keep it tuned here for the cast of characters.

New shop, new bullshit.

Sat, 08 Jan 2011 13:31:50 -0500

I was told, YESTERDAY, to show up at 1pm. I am here, been here for a half hour. The shop’s not even unlocked and open. The shop hours are 12pm - 3am on Saturdays.

This is insane.

Belatedly, I was not fired.

Mon, 03 Jan 2011 20:19:29 -0500

I was laid off. Apparently the slow season is even slower than I’d thought.

I spoke to my “old” boss today, he informed me he’d call me back in a few weeks when one of the other piercers left.

Not holding my breath.

So apparently I've been fired.

Wed, 08 Dec 2010 05:26:26 -0500

I went to leave at the end of my shift? And I got paid and sent on my way.

Awkward.

Shoulda thrown Australia under the bus.

So what's a girl to do?

Tue, 07 Dec 2010 16:11:27 -0500

One of the other piercers, let’s call her… Australia, has apparently not been piercing nearly as long as I’d thought - and she keeps making mistakes… bad ones. Mistakes that I then have to deal with because they come back angry.

I just fixed a woman’s monroe. Australia hadn’t screwed the ball on tight enough, and it fell off this woman’s piercing. She and her girlfriend bought a stud on the go from somewhere, in order to not lose the piercing completely, and came to me to put proper jewelry in.

I’m glad they did, because the stud was way too small, and causing indentations which were bleeding and pussing.

I’m not sure what to do about this. As a piercer, I care about this, and Australia seems to be fucking up a lot…

crazy artist is crazy

Tue, 07 Dec 2010 12:05:12 -0500

This artist is convinced he’s descended from Native Americans - but the way he says things are so wrong and so off…

He doesn’t know anything about Native Nations. at all.

He knows like, three things.

and he thinks he knows it all.

and he’s getting me angry.

How not to have a piercing. Part Deux.

Tue, 07 Dec 2010 00:50:24 -0500

Come to me with a vagina smelling like the before part of a Summer’s Eve commercial.

- I have to stick my face pretty close, thanks.

Cringe visibly when I haven’t even put gloves on yet.

- Psyching yourself out will only make your piercing hurt more, and annoy me.

So Joss Whedon was in my shop earlier. No, not really, but this...

Mon, 06 Dec 2010 22:40:58 -0500

So Joss Whedon was in my shop earlier. No, not really, but this guy looked exactly like him.

Also, Mexican tattoo artists breaking into random Merengue? Hilarious.