of Starz calls me a couple of minutes ago, while I’m talking to clients, irate.

Why, you ask? Because I was doing what I just mentioned… talking to clients. He is apparently of the opinion that (and this is a direct quote) “the more you talk, the less they want to get it.”

I’m sorry, but NO. If he wants another piercer who doesn’t know shit about shit, I can find him one. This chick knows her business, sorry.

I’m going to explain to my clients what’s up, how to take care of their piercings, and what they should do.

I AM NOT A BUTCHER, SORRY.

The first is “The Crib” where I feel damn comfy. It’s slow, but the people are awesome and it’s a clean, sterile, all-around excellent space.

The players there:

Enigma. The Shop manager/shop girl. She’s pretty awesome, but if she’s having a bad day, watch out.

Dude. An artist who’s been everywhere, even overseas. Kind of a poseur-y douche, but a good artist, and he’s okay enough.

The Saint. Good artist, been published even. I can already tell he’s kind of a rockstar, but whatever.

The Apprentice. Nuff said, though he’s in it for all the wrong reasons.

Bossman One. Chill dude, real accommodating, bends over backwards to make sure everyone’s happy.

Bossman Two. Real quiet dude, smart, too. 

Cheese. Friendly, kind of an all-around higher up, a bit flaky though.

Big Boss. Chill dude, don’t cross him, though, he means business.

Now then, on to shop two.

This is the moneymaker, but it’s a damn crap establishment. We’ll call it Starz.

The “piercer”. She’s been “piercing” 20 years, she says, and can talk the talk, but doesn’t walk the walk - she uses guns for piercing, and I’ve had a couple of complaints already. Doesn’t do half the things that are fairly common now (microdermals) and her “safe standards and practices” leave a lot to be desired.

Grouch. He’s so not. He’s friendly, loves his job.

Savage. Cool dude, fancies himself a ladies man, looks like.

Randall. Chill dude, easygoing, a bit lazy(but then aren’t all artists? myself included.)

Pieces. This is the guy I’ve been warned about. Piercer calls him a “snake”. He seems lazy(lazier than usual), kind of dumb, and douchey. 

So Starz is located in neighborhood that used to be the ghetto shopping central(and now is for people spending on money on trying to look ghetto)… and as such, I get a lot of little baby butch lesbians wanting tattoos and ghetto women wanting piercings that are impractical or tacky.

The Crib is also in a ghetto shopping district, but the clientele that we get there is a bit more high-end. Tho, I’ll say, Enigma probably screens the bad apples out, she’s good like that.

So some guy came in with two chicks, very angry-seeming, and demanded to speak to the tattoo artist. 

He then looks at the girl he’s with and barks an order at her to draw the tattoo she wants. She ignores him, looking at magazines, then comes over to the Perfectionist, and says, “You won’t tattoo a pregnant woman, right?”

Of course he says no, and they leave… so odd.

The Perfectionist is ridiculous passionate about games… he’s showing the counter person about this weird phone game..

I don’t even know.

We have Spade, The Perfectionist, Salty, Greenleaf…

Also:

Baby Huey. 19, amazing artist.

and Dio - my apprentice.(who’ll hate me for naming him that)

There’s also Loudmouth and Jersey. Spade’s friends/counter girls. (No, Jersey isn’t from there.)

Timepiece is gone, but Mik is around, she’s Perfectionist’s apprentice.

It’s been pretty humor-free in this shop thus far, but now… it begins. Prepare yourselves for more installments in the Adventures in Body Piercing Blog.

We have a couple new characters, allow me to introduce them. There’s Salty, he’s a traditional artist, and Greenleaf - he’s a rastamon… and a douchebag.

So to recap and recount a hilarious moment in Moonlit Studios Nights…

As I’m cleaning up and prepping to leave one night, a random Marine walks in. In dress uniform. My apprentice asks if he can help him, Marine says “no” with a kanye shrug, and leans against the counter, playing with his phone.

I come up front. “Can I help you?” 

M: “No.” *plays with phone*

F: “We’re closed, sir, we’re cleaning up and locking up, I need to ask you to leave.”

M: “Uh huh.” *continues to play with his phone for a few more minutes, then casually lifts off the counter and heads for the door*

F: *I follow him to smoke a cigarette and he stands barely outside the door for quite a few minutes before wandering off*

So yes. Adventures.

But a tattoo machine should make noise. Your fancy swiss soundless machine freaks me out.

So there’s a girl standing just outside whose tampon string is visible. Grossssssssssss.

This guy John Forte is here.